Punzel's Private Journal

March the 26th, and a Monday

So many things have changed since last I wrote regularly here! The largest news is that, after some four weeks of serious thought, meditation, and prayer, I decided that being a Duelist was not the right path for my balance. This was an enormously difficult and painful decision, after so many weeks of working toward the goal of joining that guild, and knowing how hurt Martel would be at my leaving. But I feel certain that it is the right choice for my own heart's balance, and therefore I felt that it was what I must do.

On Thursday the 22nd day of this month, I did request to peacefully and honorably leave the guild, with the intention of continuing to honor my oaths from outside the Duelists. I therefore no longer wear a blade and have no access to practice swords. My triad is broken and Edanya and Duraze will seek a new third, though I will always honor my oaths to them as best I am able. I have been uncertain how to treat this information, and have not been announcing it at random, but nor have I lied about it. If the subject arises, I have told folk the truth, but I do not tell folk the news simply to gossip. I do not want my own decision to reflect badly upon the Duelists who remain.

But I am not the only one for whom large changes have occurred in recent days. Corporal Petris has resigned his post to accept a knighthood, and Philo has been promoted to Corporal in his place! I am so proud of my friend, and know that he will perform his duties with honor. But in the same period of time that my friend has assumed these new duties, he has also abandoned others, as he has left the Faith of Natura Balanus. At the ceremony at which he would have sworn the oath to become an Acolyte, he realized that he could not swear an oath to put balance afore all else, because he had already sworn -- in the Winter Watch -- to put the law afore all else. He therefore chose to leave the Faith rather than swear conflicting oaths.

Robert, however, did swear the Acolyte's oath, though he had sworn to the Duelists to respect honor afore all else. I highly respect the seriousness with which Philo treats oaths, and feel that I left the Duelists for much the same reason that Philo left the Faith ... because I take the oaths so seriously. I could not stay if I could not honor the oaths with all my heart ... and felt that I could honor the oaths better from outside the guild, where my heart would be in better balance.

Also in recent days, sera Charmiam was chosen as First Acolyte in the Faith of Natura Balanus -- a choice I am quite helpless to understand -- and afterward my sister Illiana was chosen as an Acolyte in Philo's place. [Entry continues, but deleted for this excerpt.]