Of a quest to save the Shifty toy of a Goddess. Also, faerie debts, otter grogs, and yellow magi. How the seasoning makes the meal. Finally, encounters with lizards of all sorts, an entire village controlled by the fay, and a trio of ever-loyal elves. The diary of a giant lizard.

Dramatis Personae

Gamemaster: Kevin Wong

Guest Authors: Chris Van Horn (What I Think)
Kevin Wong (Various Lizard Logs)

Forticulus' Hastily Scribbled Notes
1 October 1214

The rumor mill grinds slowly, but eventually we all are reduced to pulp. According to my little spies that traitor Bonisagus did nose around into the covenant's affairs again two days ago. He went asking Viator his damned questions about love, a still mysterious concept to me. Viator is much quicker on the uptake than Risus, and he fired off a preemptive Certamen.

Viator won and by his conditions Docilli must now marry the girl if Viator does not. That must not happen because the bloated, bumbling lab worker would make a mess of it all. It will not be a worry though.

Now I am off. I have received an urgent summons.

Letter from Drake to Prospectus Locus
Scribed September 5, 1214
Delivered October 1, 1214

My friends, fellows, and companions,

I write this letter to tell you that I have recovered well. The tender ministrations of my noble hosts have cured my body of the affirmities laid upon me by the Shadow Flambeau.

Alas, I can not say the same of the wounds upon my soul, for they still remain deep and painful. I feel empty now that my vengeance is done, and I do not know the cure for this ailment.

I have decided to embark upon a tour of the Order, to remind myself of the beauty and grandeur that lies within our world. I hope dearly that it will allow me to regain my perspective, so that I may once more see the world in glorious color rather than muted shades of gray.

I leave this morning, putting my wings to the wind, allowing them to carry me where my heart yearns. I expect to return to you within a year.

Drake

Aubrin's Memoirs
October 1, 1214

It has been a day of mixed melancholy, due to the tidings that Antonius, our redcap, brought. Drake sent word that he has recovered, but he will not return to us for a year, for he needs to once more find his center in the world. Forticulus has announced that he is off as well, in response to some letter that Antonius brought to him, of which he would speak no more. So, I am alone of we elders, but at least I can say there is joy is this too, for as the last year has passed our new covenant, born from the old, has slowly become a family, and thus I have new fellows about me, though the old are going about their own tasks.

Albus' Dialogues
October 1, 1214
Early Evening

Our studious Mercere, Antonius, was through this afternoon. He picked up the many letters I have scribed. Within the next seasons they should be received in Northern Africa, Italy, and the Levant. I hope that my questions about Fayez and Judas' silver are answered in a way that puts to rest the worries still filling my mind.

Other Covenant Records
as recorded by Lucindia the Seneschal
November 8, 1214

Two sufi mystics arrived today from Estancia-es-Karida. They are named Kadar and Kadir, and are here at Risus' invitation. They will be teaching Enigmatic Wisdom and Philosophy for the next six months. The magi have been notified, as these courses will meet the new requirements put forth at the July 3 council.

Other Covenant Records
as recorded by Lucindia the Seneschal
November 8, 1214

Thirty-eight pawns of assorted vis arrived at the covenant today, postmarked Duresca. These represent the eighty-eight pawns due to the covenant as part of the Shadow Flambeau reward, minus the fifty pawns owed by it for the same reward. Duresca states this is to be divided into four shares, one each for Aubrin, Drake, and Fabricarious, and one for the covenant as a whole for services rendered.

The Council Records
as recorded by Lucindia the Seneschal
December 21, 1214

In attendence: Albus, Aubrin, Catorse, Docilli, Fabricarious, Lorum, Risus, Viator, and Xanti; also myself, Lucindia the Seneschal; also Fangere, an associate member.

Absent: Drake and Forticulus, both away on personal business.

Quorum was achieved and Aubrin called the one regularly scheduled meeting of Prospectus Locus to order. As is traditional the main topic of discussion was vis.

Points of Information:

* AUBRIN opened the meeting by describing the vis that had been collected over the year: 5 Creo, 5 Intellego, 4 Muto, 3 Perdo, 4 Rego, 8 Animal, 4 Aquam, 10 Auram, 5 Corpus, 10 Herbam, 7 Ignem, 4 Imaginem, 2 Mentem, 9 Terram, and 2 Vim. It was a particularly prosperous year due to vis accepted at the Tribunal and the Shadow Flambeau reward. He also brought up our debt--185 pawns of vis other than Vim, at least 10 of which must be paid each year to avoid penalties--and offered one additional use for vis: an Aegis of the Hearth, which would require 12 pawns.

* AUBRIN also brought up a second matter of importance. The May Queen has sent a request to Lorum, asking for magi to undertake a mission on her behalf. She specifically asked that Albus, Fabricarious, and Xanti join Lorum on this mission, and suggested that someone would could fly might be useful. Albus and Fabricarious agreed to join Lorum; Xanti declined. Viator agreed to aid in this mission as well. Four grogs will be requisitioned and the group will leave on December 29.

Points of Debate:

* AUBRIN offered the question of whether we should raise an Aegis of the Hearth this year. It has not been raised since the winter of 1212. Thanks to the results of tribunal the covenant now posesses an Aegis that is twelfth rank. After much debate it was determined that an Aegis will be raised. Aubrin will speak with other covenants to trade for Vim vis, and the expected date of the ceremony is mid-January. In the future Aubrin will attempt to have Vim vis ready in advance of the December 21 council.

* LORUM and VIATOR made trades of Herbam and Rego vis to our stores.

* AUBRIN suggested that we pay 55 pawns of vis toward our debts. This was accepted and our debt now is 130 pawns.

At year's end our vis stores now include: 8 Creo, 1 Intellego, 4 Muto 4 Perdo, 9 Rego, and 4 Vim. It is expected that the 4 Vim will be spent on the Aegis and that 5 pawns of techniques will be traded to raise the other 8 required Vim. In addition our debt has been reduced to 130 pawns. This debt is currently owed to Barcelona, Estancia-es-Karida, Hamus Acerbus, Doissetep, Mistridge, and Windgraven, as is fully noted in the second addendum to the Spring, 1212 Council Records.

Albus' Dialogues
December 21, 1214
Early Evening

The May Queen has requested my presence on a mission. I do not know why. I have always avoided her. Her aspect as bright summer destroying the beautiful winter disturbs me. Nonetheless, I have accepted. It is for the good of the covenant.

As best we can determine the May Queen requested those of us whom she had not met before. It was suggested that perhaps she considers us the most expendable. It matters not. We will succeed.

The whole expedition is still shrouded in mystery. All we know is that the May Queen owes an obligation to some other faerie ruler. That other faerie ruler has called the debt in. We are to go and fulfill the May Queen's debt. Something about recovering some item this other faerie has lost. We will learn more when we visit the May Queen.

At my request we will not depart for a week so that I may complete my studies of Intellego.

Albus' Dialogues
January 1, 1215
Early Morning

Our mission grows clearer. Slightly. We have arrived at the May Queen's realm. Myself. Fabricarious. Viator. Lorum. After skirting the remains of a mundane village destroyed over a year ago we passed into a silver mine and from there through regio to the May Queen's court.

The May Queen repeated what we had been told earlier by her messenger. That we were to pay off an obligation to another Faerie Queen. This other Queen styles herself "Goddess"--I declined to learn her real name lest one of us accidently use it and so upset her. This Goddess is said to be very unpredictable and so the less chances we take the better. We are to recover some metal toy for her. The May Queen could offer no more information.

Lorum has been made a faerie ambassador. The May Queen gave him a silver war ball and chain to offer to the Goddess as a gift. She also suggested we purchase gifts as well. There is a village inside the Goddess' realm where this should be possible.

We should be off momentarily. We will be travelling the faerie trods. This will be a novel experience for me. The Goddess is said to be two realms away from the May Queen. The journey should be a short one.

Albus' Dialogues
January 1, 1215
Midday

We have passed the Goddess' gauntlet. But at what cost I cannot say. I shall have to add to my book of rules the fact that faeries are very, very annoying. I have had little opportunity to interact with them thus far--our meeting with Dux Aquil being a significant exception--and I now belive that to be a very good thing.

The trip along the trods was uneventful enough. We left the May Queen's realm via the only magical path to her realm. We skirted the kingdom of the Vole Queen--our ally had warned us about her. From there we took a second trod which brought us to the realm of the Goddess. The trod deposited us at the entrance to a cave. It appears to have been in the hills that line the eastern cost of Iberia. I am not sure where.

Lorum warned us that we would likely face tests to enter the faerie realm. The Goddess' gauntlet. Carefully we stepped forth.

There were indeed three tests. But they were not the type that one might pass or fail. Rather they were tests that one had to endure. We did--most of us---but even my ire is quite raised after them all.

Maybe a quarter-mile into the cave we found the passage ended in a pool of water. A sign told us to "Swim". It was written--of all things--in German. Only I could read it.

So we swam. There were three tunnels in the pool. They led underwater and then back up into another cavern. Lorum and I scouted after casting Lungs of the Fish. Then we helped our sodales through.

But it was not nearly that simple. The faeries had set a magic spell to trigger upon any passage through the tunnel. It had a number of random effects upon us. Some bad. Some good.

I am currently glowing phosphorescent yellow. Lorum's legs and top, front teeth have both become enlarged. Fabricarious has gained a new aptitude with communication. Viator alone seemed to withstand the spell.

Our grogs were even worse off. Torp was blinded. Hufar was turned into an otter. At least Marco only had his nose enlarged and Federico his teeth removed.

I was most displeased. Only the fact that these effects were likely temporary kept my anger from boiling over. And that was only the first of the three tests!

Another quarter mile and we came to another dead-end. A wheel stood next to it, divided into ten equal section. Above it was a sign that said, "Spin." We did.

And then we were confronted with more humiliations. As each person spun they disappeared. They reappeared--together--in another room. Some seemed unaffected. Others were covered with sweet food--myself included. Several people got notes. Lorum and Hufar received cards promising them free drinks of spiced physician. Marco received a note offering him a dispensation from gifts to the Goddess. Again only Viator seemed to withstand the faerie magic. After he spun the wheel nothing happened and then he just stepped through the wall.

Extremely odd. Extremely faerie. Extremely annoying.

Eventually we eight were reunited. We proceeded. Another quarter-mile and we came to an exit. It was also the third test. As we stepped through that exit, three of us disappeared--Hufar, Federico, and Marco. By my estimation they were the three without some fragment of Gift--Torp being part faerie.

So there we stand now. We are looking down into a valley. A town full of big stone buildings rests there. It is clearly the place we were told of. We have searched around a bit, but there is no sign of our missing grogs. So we preceed--four magi and a blind grog. Perhaps we shall still succeed at the Goddess' mission though she has already crippled us.

Albus' Dialogues
January 1, 1215
Early Afternoon

We have now met the Queen of this faerie realm. The Goddess. She has proven as crazy as her gauntlet.

As I have already said the town was full of stone buildings. Most unusual. No thatch of wood. Just stone. A number of people live in the village. They seem to be not fay but humans. German-speakers, for whatever reason. We ascertained where the Goddess' temple was, then looked to buy gifts as the May Queen had instructed us.

There were a number of stores in the Goddess' unnatural city. A gift shop, a candy shop, and a practical joke shop particularly stood out. We decided to enter the first. It was an amazing and huge shop that had all manner of goods. I bought a jeweled ring. Lorum bought some throwing knives. Fabricarious bought silver jewelery. Torp purchased a stuffed hawk! Viator had Marco's "no gift required" card so he decided to spend his money on a huge stuffed griffin head--for our own council room.

Afterward we went on to see the Goddess. She sat in her Temple surrounded by three retainers. A bard, a priest, and a warrior--all elves. We gave the Goddess our gifts and she offered us gifts in turn. It is the faerie way. And as she did she showed her madness. For example I was given a suit of half-chain--for she thought I seemed a warrior. The only truly rational gift was the one she gave to Torp. She restored his sight.

As we gave our gifts the Goddess slowly destroyed her court. When Lorum presented the May Queen's mace the Goddess tried to stave in her bard's head with it. When Lorum gave the May Queen his own knives she threw them at her priest. Later Lorum tried to explain he was a wizard and cast a spell. The Goddess responded by throwing a lightning bolt at her warrior. I think all her elves survived.

With all this silly--and maddening--exchange done, the Goddess finally explained her problem to us. A huge lizard attacked her town about a month ago. It escaped with a strange metal toy that belonged to the Goddess. She called it a "Shifty". It is a tightly-twined wire which forms a sort of pipe. Though made of metal the toy can easily be shifted about--growing longer and shorter--hence the name. The Goddess showed us another Shifty she had. It was like the one she had lost except the lost one is made of gold. The Goddess seemed thoroughly entranced by her toy. She even sang a silly song about it. As she sang she shifted it from hand-to-hand in a hypnotic pattern.

The wounded bard explained the route to the giant lizard while clenching her teeth through her pain. It is over a river of lava through a valley and past a dangerous lizotaur.

As a side note Lorum and Viator redeemed their cards for their spiced physician drinks. I had already confirmed that there was no actual physician in the drinks. They reported the drink good and somewhat invigorating though Viator's was partially frozen.

Now we are enjoying a short repast before we head off on our mission.

Albus' Dialogues
January 1, 1215 Early Evening

Now I can say that this whole faerie realm is as crazy as its Queen. Entirely insane. I can also reflect that my anger earlier was badly placed. Though these faeries may indeed be annoying, the emotion of anger does nothing about that situation. It has only impaired me this day. It is as my pater has always taught. Another rule for my book: if you do not control your anger it will control you.

We exited the Goddess' city and passed out into the wilderness. Soon we came to the lava river and found a bridge over it. It was guarded by four lizard men. Much to our surprise each lizard man was playing with a Shifty toy. None was the Goddess' missing golden Shifty. We decided to talk to the lizard men.

They said they received the Shiftys from the giant lizard. This was our first sign it was not as dumb as the Goddess thought. It seems the giant lizard gives out these Shiftys to all of its subjects. We were bemused.

The lizard men told us we could cross the bring only if we knew the pass song--a song about Shiftys. It was by coincidence--there is no coincidence in faerie realms--the very song the Goddess had sung back in her temple. Fortunately Torp remember the whole song. He sang it beautifully and the lizard men allowed us to cross.

Lava Bridge Guard Post, Incoming Travelers Daily Log

• Lizard man family of 4: passed without incident.
• Cirran trader and wagon: passed after paying toll (6 Slinkies).
• Lizotaur: passed without incident.
• Lizard man pilgrims (6): passed without incident.
• Lizard woman with kid: passed without incident, 2 guards sent along to protect them.
• Ferret, wolf, and chicken: passed after performing comedy skit.
• Gecko family of 12: passed without incident.
• Five funny humans: passed after singing Slinky song.
• Templars (3) with horses: passed, one fell off bridge.
• Lizard man hunting party (8): passed after paying 2 dead marmots.

Albus' Dialogues
January 1, 1215
Early Evening (continued)

We next crossed a large valley. I think we realized that we were facing a second gauntlet when we saw four large shapes winging their way through the sky to us. When they grew closer we were amazed by what we saw. They were four lizard men strapped into winged contraptions that allowed them to glide! As they neared they began to drop bags upon us. Various bags contained butter, salt, rocks, and maple syrup. I can only say it was my good fortune to not be targeted.

After the first wave of bags was launched Viator became irate. He borrowed my sword and flew up into the sky to meet the lizard men. He was much more agile than they in the air. The lizard men were able to drop their second and last load. During that time Viator assaulted one of their gliders and drove it to the ground.

We talked with the grounded lizard man a bit. He revealed that he had been flavoring us. This is the method by which the giant lizard decides who to eat. Upon learning this my sodales began to Perdo the foods upon them. Except Fabricarious, who was stubborn.

Viator wanted to kill the lizard man for vis but I convinced him otherwise. It seemed imprudent to do so while we still had a long trek within the faerie realm. I promised we could if they bombed us again on our way out.

Hanglider Food Flavouring Squadron #4, Daily Mission Log

• Lizard man family of 4: missed.
• Cirran trader and wagon: missed (close).
• Lizotaur: missed.
• Lizard man pilgrims (6): missed.
• Lizard woman with kid: mission aborted.
• Ferret, wolf, and chicken: missed (close).
• Gecko family of 12: couldn't spot them.
• Five funny humans: multiple hits.
• Templars (2) with horses: missed.
• Lizard man hunting party (8): missed.

Albus' Dialogues
January 1, 1215
Early Evening (continued)

And so we came to the third test in our new gauntlet. The Lizotaur's lair. At the entrance to its cave was a sign written in German. It read, "Lizotaur". According to the bard the only route to the giant Shifty-stealing lizard was through this cave. So, we took it.

It was a maze all right. A most annoying maze. There were all manner of traps. Pits, arrows, that type of thing. There were also huge numbers of magical devices which teleported their targets. As we tried to make our way through the maze some of us were teleported back to the entrance. Some were teleported to the exit. Fabricarious and Viator were even teleported to the home of the Lizotaur!

Excerpt from Bernard the Lizotaur's Diary

... After coming home to my humble flat after another long day at the salt mines, I proceeded to relax by continuing to work on my dissertation on the genetic similarities between lizotaurs and humans/lizardmen. While reading Drachen's "Lizotaur Lineages", a butter-flavoured human teleported into my study area. This uncouth and smelly heathen I immediately showed to the door and ushered him outside. Later, another human teleported in. This second human was cleaner so I offered him the hospitality of my home while he rested a bit. Eventually he too left and I returned to my reading...

Albus' Dialogues
January 1, 1215
Early Evening (continued)

Somehow we all survived. By my logical method of always following the right-hand wall we were all reunited at the exit. Before us stood a second, smaller valley. The home of the giant lizard who ruled this realm.

We started to descend into the valley. And then it emerged from its cave. It was huge. Monstrous. At least the size of our central tower back at home.

I am somewhat ashamed to say that I passed out at the sight.

What I Think
A disorganized journal by Fabricarious

Fairies, always annoying, I think it is their job. After going though the Lizotaur's cave I wanted to go home having already had food and rocks dropped on my head. But no, we had to recover a "slinky" for the annoying fairy. So we continued to the big lizard's home where it tried to eat me, not us just me. So while my fellow Magi tried to make themselves helpful, by playing dead and urinating on themselves, or in Albus' case both at once, I fled from the 60 foot talking lizard back to the Lizotaur's cave, where Torp was already cowering. The beast then tricked me by pretending to walk away and I walked out. Realizing my mistake I quickly ducked back in without a scratch. Only Torp saw it and he knows better than to talk. I then spent almost a span distracting the critter until my comrades returned with Albus' still unconscious body.

Albus' Dialogues
January 1, 1215
Early Evening (continued)

When I awoke I found we had been successful.

Fabricarious had never cleaned the butter and salt off himself. The giant lizard decided he was food. It chased him across the valley and almost caught him. Fabricarious ducked back into the Lizotaur's lair just in time. In the meantime Viator circled around to the giant lizard's cave. He liberated the Goddess' golden Shifty and also took one for himself.

Before we left Viator and Lorum played mind-games with the lizard. Lorum told it we were representatives of Dux Aquil. Viator convinced it to wait at the entrance to the Lizotaur's lair by saying we would do our best to trick Fabricarious into going back out.

For all I know we will be back home before it gives up.

Giant Lizard Diary

Food came. Ran away. Almost tricked it. Waiting for next food.

Albus' Dialogues
January 1, 1215
Early Evening (continued)

There is little more to say. We crossed back to the Goddess' town without incident. Viator presented the Shifty and was given a reward. His eyes can now see faerie things though the Goddess says it is temporary.

After that we headed back to the trods. We found our three missing grogs at the entrance to the Goddess' realm. They were returned to normal. The rest of us still bear our various curses but the Goddess assured us they are temporary.

We plan a quick stop at the May Queen's realm. Then it is back home. We should be there by the fourth.